I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
me + whiskey = a bad person
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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