you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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