You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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