I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Are my feet made of real feet?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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