Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
