Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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