And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
