that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
