imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
