dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I came so hard my ears popped.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
