I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
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He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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