i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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