White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize