Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.

Fav 4 1067 2430
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(269): View more from Michigan

im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower

Fav 15 3317 962
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience

Fav 37 6873 1178
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(609): View more from New Jersey

imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive

Fav 50 4401 1286
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(630): View more from Illinois

you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

Fav 5 6042 1981
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(201): View more from New Jersey

she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.

Fav 9 828 3178
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.

Fav 5 5969 1382
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(425): View more from Washington

I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.

Fav 0 16 33
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(631): View more from New York

just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama

Fav 0 29 18
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