how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
