I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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