I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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