I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
