somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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