Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So squirting runs in the family.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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