i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just want nice things and good sex
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
