Acid is not a monday night drug
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
