Where did you get a picture of my penis
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize