DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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