so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
did you just send me my own nude
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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