Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
