that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
