I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
