Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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