I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
