got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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