my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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