Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
