Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Drake has all the answers
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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