Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
