there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"