I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
What changed your mind?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?