too bad you live with your parents still
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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