just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize