those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
