Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is Oprah even human
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
