I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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