I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
