My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
