i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have feelings that need drinking.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
