I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
