No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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