why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
