theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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