just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ketchup is God's man juice
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
