i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
