guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
