We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
