Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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