drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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