He asked me if I "almost moaned"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He did a backflip because drugs
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