the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
