we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just found puke in my bra..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize