Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can't put those talents on a resume
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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