I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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