Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
are you so shy because you have an std?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
