Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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