Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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