Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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