Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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