Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
