im drinking this country out of the recession.
My hand turned me down
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
