loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
