Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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