I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
